Sister Daphne OSPI

Twenty-five years after answering the call to become a queer nun, Sister Daphne reflects on the journey that brought her to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence—and on the liberation she has found through service, spirituality, humor, and joy.

The Sisters were founded in San Francisco in 1979 by activists responding to discrimination against gay men, lesbians, and people navigating gender. Combining activism, spirituality, community service, and radical humor, they raised money for medical care and legal assistance, supported people living with HIV and AIDS, and transformed symbols and rituals associated with rejection into expressions of affirmation and liberation.

Daphne’s own journey began in rural northern Germany. In 1997, she moved to Berlin, where she became involved with the gay student community, discovered drag, and gave birth to her persona, Daphne de Baakel. In 1999, she saw the Sisters at Berlin Pride for the first time. Fascinated by their presence, she eventually attended a monthly meeting and knew immediately that she wanted to become one of them.

Becoming a Sister was not simply about putting on a habit and choosing a name. Daphne describes a process of learning, growth, service, and self-acceptance. At its heart is the ability to forgive oneself, accept one’s imperfections, and let go of guilt.

That idea gives the title its meaning. A Sister must first grant herself a kind of “perpetual indulgence”—an everlasting absolution. Only then can she help others release their own internalized guilt. For Daphne, joy is part of the work: someone who does not experience joy cannot easily pass it on.

Daphne became a Sister in December 2000. Over the years, the Berlin community grew and became increasingly connected with the wider LGBTIQ+ movement. Today, the Sisters are an international community that includes people of different genders and sexual orientations, united by love, good deeds, and service rather than a conventional religious creed.

Their work has also evolved. During the AIDS crisis, the Sisters offered safer-sex supplies, practical support, and a welcoming presence to people facing HIV and AIDS. Today, their pastoral work also addresses mental health, isolation, exclusion, and hostility toward marginalized communities.

For Daphne, becoming a Sister has made visibility itself an act of service. Even after experiencing physical attacks while traveling in habit, she continues to appear in public, creating opportunities for strangers to encounter something they may never have seen before. A costume can become a conversation. A conversation can become connection.

Ultimately, Daphne’s story is about reclaiming joy from a culture that taught queer people to feel shame. 

Liberation, she reminds us, can mean transforming symbols of rejection into symbols of welcome—and becoming free enough to help someone else feel free too.